The beginning of 2012 was incredible. We had moved into our new home and had began settling in. Life was on a high and I finally felt that everything was falling into place as we had been dreaming about for the past four years. Our next decision was one that we knew would impact our lives, but it didn't impact us exactly how we had imagined.
Mr. W had tried to convince me to have children since day 1. I always had excuses (most of them valid IMO) as to why we should wait. We were young, I wanted to find a better job, I wanted to find a job with different hours, I would have to wait until insurance kicked in, I wanted to agree on names, etc. Every excuse I had eventually happened, but I still wasn't quite ready. The one excuse that I argued every time was our forever home. I really didn't know if we had kids if we'd be able to get the loan we would need.
Backing up a couple of months, October 2011. We knew we were going to get the house and were just waiting on our lenders to coordinate and set a closing date. During this time, I finally felt like I was OK with trying to get pregnant. I was ready as a wife to do this for my husband. That last statement sounds like I'm the obedient type, but I'm not. I didn't have baby fever and I still questioned if I was really ready, but it was something I wanted to do out of love and respect for my husband. After 10years on the pill, I stopped BCP's to see if my cycles would regulate. We agreed to wait a couple of months before we would seriously start trying.
November & December I had a period. January - nothing. I took a couple of HPTs and they were negative. Beginning of February I started having early pregnancy symptoms, fatigue, heightened sense of smell and extremely sore boobs. I took a HPT on February 10, 2012 and it was POSITIVE! We were so excited to be expecting. The next few weeks were wonderful, we both had baby-brain and could hardly contain our excitement. The pregnancy was so early I wasn't comfortable telling anybody and finally agreed we would announce on Easter, still sooner than I wanted it to be.
I had my first OB appt and during that week I began to have light brownish spotting. The OB said it was probably fine as half of all pregnant women have spotting. I still wasn't relieved, so betas were drawn and an US was ordered (also for dating purposes since I didn't have a period in Jan) that same day. The US revealed nothing. No sac, nothing. I was pretty certain I should be about 5.5-6wks along. The US tech tried to reassure me that without a period in Jan. I didn't know when I had ovulated, so I probably wasn't as far along as I thought I was. My second beta draw the #s increased but I still just felt something was wrong.
March 3, 2012. Just a few days after my OB visit. I was working and I felt a slip, more like a small rush/leak. I went to the bathroom and bright red blood. I was mortified and terrified. I knew at this point, but I was still in some denial. I also was extremely busy at work that day and had left my cell at home, so I was unable to contact any of my other coworkers to see if they could come in for me. I also knew that if I wasn't bleeding through at least 2 pads an hour, it wasn't considered urgent and didn't warrant an emergency visit. Somehow I held it together, only once did anybody notice anything. My boss, who's also a doctor, thought I was crying (I had been) but I blamed it on an eyelash -- which was in my eye from crying and drying my eyes! 3 hours later, it finally slowed down at work and I cornered my doc to let him know what was going on and that I was starting to get some cramping. He sent me to the ER without any hesitation. A pit stop in our office to contact my mom, so she could track down Mr. W (who was working and his cell doesn't get service at his work) and to the ER I went. My mom and my husband met me there about 20minutes later.
I ended up miscarrying naturally and most of the heavy bleeding happened while I was at the ER. Betas were checked, they had dropped. Another US was done, I don't know if they saw anything or not, I can't honestly remember if anything was said about it. I was supposed to follow up weekly to have my betas checked, but I ended up seeing my PCP as I knew I would get results from her a lot faster than the hospital. I had moderate-light bleeding for about 2 weeks after. My betas were also at zero 2 weeks after. My PCP recommended waiting 3 cycles before we tried again.
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