FML

Let's back this story up a few days. On Thursday, January 30, 2014 I was having a pretty good day. I was off work, cleaned the house, got some errands done. My parents decided they were going to come out and visit us in the evening, so I was waiting for their arrival. They came out, we visited for a bit. My mom finished my dishes. It was turning out to be a great evening UNTIL dh's phone rang. I could tell in his voice that he wasn't happy and that something bad was coming.  He gets off the phone & comes up stairs to tell me the "news."

Apparently, my BIL & his BM (maybe-baby-mama/bowel movement--however you want to read this, it all works IMO) are ktfu again. Cue tears. I'm so outraged by this. I'm angry at the world, angry at them, and angry that this is not the life I wanted or the person that I'm becoming.  So let me explain why this is so fucking upsetting to me.

A year ago this month, BM had a baby. Before I expand on this story, let's give a little a background.
1. She's married, her dh is on-the run for probation violation and the last I knew he was out of state.
2. She's really trashy. I really don't give a shit who my BIL fucks, but her family you have to be leary of. They all have multiple pages of arrests/court charges/jail. And when they are around you have to lock your stuff up. It's so bad, that BIL hides the baby's piggy-bank when her family comes to his house.
3. So this baby (my maybe nephew) was born, because she's married, the birth certificate says unknown on the father line. Apparently in Missouri you can name kids anything you want, so the baby does have BIL's last name, but BIL is NOT mentioned on the birth certificate. Supposedly they were getting paternity testing done, but NOBODY has seen the papers on this & BIL claims that they got the papers back and the baby is his. BULLSHIT.
4. The baby will be 1 year old in a few days and we still have no proof that BIL is actually the father of this child. There is a lot of question as to if he is or isn't the father.
5. BM also has a 15yo stepdaughter who lives with them.
The list goes on and on and on, but you get the idea and those are the main points.

So want to know what else is really fucking shady about this whole ordeal? BIL texts, yes TEXTS my MIL to tell her they are ktfu. REALLY? WHO REALLY FUCKING DOES THIS? I know who does this, people who are ashamed of themselves. They also claim that this pregnancy was planned. I call total BULLSHIT on that. The only feasible ideas DH & I can gather that this pregnancy was actually planned are:
1. We don't think that baby #1 belongs to my BIL. We think that he's become so attached to him and wants to raise him and to keep her around (but trust me that trashy bitch isn't going anywhere, she has no where to go) he really wanted to have a baby who does belong to him so she can't threaten to up and leave and actually leave without him having any say so towards anything (which she has threatened many times & my IL's are such fucking idiots and play into her bullshit).
2. She (and probably my BIL) are INSANELY, INSANELY jealous of us. This isn't a secret. They are jealous of the life DH & I have built for ourselves. We both have stable jobs, we have a nice house, we own property -- you get the idea.  Of course they know of our entire history due to my MIL being a selfish-bitch and throwing a tantrum, so our fertility struggles had to be brought up to give an explanation as to why DH & I are, the way we are at times. This of course pissed me off too, it's my fucking business and if you don't like me (BM hates me), there's probably a legit reason why -- because I don't like you and I'm not going out of my way to be fake-nice to your bitch ass. I know them being jealous of us and getting ktfu seems self-centered on my part, but I wouldn't put past them because they know how much we're hurting & this is a way to knock us down.

I also have a hard time with baby#1 because his birthday is close to my 1st ever positive pregnancy test, it's also close to my 1st loss date and it's close to my 2nd EDD. My biggest fear right now is that DH & I will get pregnant, have another loss & once fucking again I'll have to deal with their pregnancy and all that shit while I'm suffering.

FML.


Clarifying Notes:
1. Although I bitch about my MIL/FIL, I actually get along with them. I really don't have any dislike for them, other than my BIL situation and the fact that nobody will fucking stand up to him or put him out on his ass and force him to put his BGP on.
2. I really do hate/dislike whichever word you prefer BM. She's just a bitch and has been a bitch to me & admitted she was a bitch to me.
3. I now no longer have any respect for my BIL & there's a huge strain on his & DH's relationship -- which I also hate, mostly because I feel like my IL's view that as "probably my fault."